The past few days, I've been wobbly, sleep deprived, and not very nice. Attempts at trying to pat down my raised neck ruff were met with growls. Depending on who you ask, they might have been cute growls. Rodents are not known for being particularly imposing when we're put out.
My late, lamented guinea pig, Minnie the Guinea Queen of the Sows, was a growler who was a fierce legend in her own tiny little head. One afternoon the family dog, a Great Dane who was not known for cerebral wattage, noticed there was a small furry loaf in the cage in my room. He stuck his nose against the wires, Minnie growled and then clamped down on him through the bars. The poor dog didn't know what to make of any of it. He looked over at me as if to say, "Please get this mean biscuit offa mah nose!" I gently removed Miss Piggy, who waggled her tiny feet and let me know how offended she was as the poor pup ran to another part of the house where weird decor wouldn't bite him.
So I was emitting similar rodent-like grumbling and occasionally squeaking at offenders. I should have been minding my manners, but no. Offended and inconvenienced me had to let the world know I was offended and inconvenienced. You'd think I was raised in a barn.
Yesterday I met my new endocrinologist. She. listened. She got me. I feel like we're moving forward and I'm a little more at home in my body, something I have been trying to achieve for the last six years. My A1C is down five points from what it was in November. Numbers are moving the right direction. I'm not there yet, but all signs point to me getting healthier.
I don't deserve any of this.
This especially true becausr I keep sending these pestering prayers: "Why am I here? What is my purpose? No place inthis world u is evident. If I'm continuing to live, what do you want me to do, God?
What I'm missing is the hrace I am being shown. What God is modelng to me is what I should be extending to others. It's a hard, mean world right now is a pretty accurate assessment of the state of things. Using that as an excuse for closing my heart and mind is a copout.
What does God want me to do? It's right there in black and white (or maybe red depending on your Bible.)
I give you a new commandment: Love each other . Just as I have loved you, so you also must love each other. This is how everyone will know you are my disciples, when you love each other.
John 13: 34-35
There it is. My mission for right now should I choose to accept it. Time to sign off and go into the world, this tinme with a greater purpose.
Squeak!
Churchmouse
My late, lamented guinea pig, Minnie the Guinea Queen of the Sows, was a growler who was a fierce legend in her own tiny little head. One afternoon the family dog, a Great Dane who was not known for cerebral wattage, noticed there was a small furry loaf in the cage in my room. He stuck his nose against the wires, Minnie growled and then clamped down on him through the bars. The poor dog didn't know what to make of any of it. He looked over at me as if to say, "Please get this mean biscuit offa mah nose!" I gently removed Miss Piggy, who waggled her tiny feet and let me know how offended she was as the poor pup ran to another part of the house where weird decor wouldn't bite him.
So I was emitting similar rodent-like grumbling and occasionally squeaking at offenders. I should have been minding my manners, but no. Offended and inconvenienced me had to let the world know I was offended and inconvenienced. You'd think I was raised in a barn.
Yesterday I met my new endocrinologist. She. listened. She got me. I feel like we're moving forward and I'm a little more at home in my body, something I have been trying to achieve for the last six years. My A1C is down five points from what it was in November. Numbers are moving the right direction. I'm not there yet, but all signs point to me getting healthier.
I don't deserve any of this.
This especially true becausr I keep sending these pestering prayers: "Why am I here? What is my purpose? No place inthis world u is evident. If I'm continuing to live, what do you want me to do, God?
What I'm missing is the hrace I am being shown. What God is modelng to me is what I should be extending to others. It's a hard, mean world right now is a pretty accurate assessment of the state of things. Using that as an excuse for closing my heart and mind is a copout.
What does God want me to do? It's right there in black and white (or maybe red depending on your Bible.)
I give you a new commandment: Love each other . Just as I have loved you, so you also must love each other. This is how everyone will know you are my disciples, when you love each other.
John 13: 34-35
There it is. My mission for right now should I choose to accept it. Time to sign off and go into the world, this tinme with a greater purpose.
Squeak!
Churchmouse
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