Last weekend (AKA yesterday and the two days that preceded it) I had more than the usual number of contacts with people who live or lived in abusive situations. By the time I signed off Sunday night, I felt like I'd spent the last few days getting repeatedly punched in the head and gut. I went to bed trying to figure out a way to explain this and why it was important to post about it.
I woke up at two in the morning thinking about KC Green's "This is fine." meme. Yes, that was it.
People ask what group is the hardest to work with. Many then offer their opinion that being on a paediatric crisis unit or talking down suicidal people has to be the worst.
Nope.
Let's go back to that meme. Intervention can be compared to getting people to leave a burning building. The kids will follow you out, the depressives will let you lead them out. People with abusive partners will either refuse to budge or they will run back into the fire once you get them out.
I talked to people who wanted me to tell them how to get their partners to stop hitting them.
I talked to people who escaped abusive relationships but wanted to go back because "every child needs a father/mother."
I talked to people who would go so far, admit things were not good and then double back with, "But I love him/her!"
One thing I did not do was give up on them. They gave up on themselves. I pray they see the point where they've had enough and begin to rebuild themselves into the person who finds the strength to get themselves and their children out.
It is statistically likely you know someone in this situation. You may not have heard from them lately. You may think everything is fine. You don't have to do very much. Just check in with them. When you do that, you leave a door opened just a little so light can come in. You give them a nudge that there is life beyond where they are.
I woke up at two in the morning thinking about KC Green's "This is fine." meme. Yes, that was it.
People ask what group is the hardest to work with. Many then offer their opinion that being on a paediatric crisis unit or talking down suicidal people has to be the worst.
Nope.
Let's go back to that meme. Intervention can be compared to getting people to leave a burning building. The kids will follow you out, the depressives will let you lead them out. People with abusive partners will either refuse to budge or they will run back into the fire once you get them out.
I talked to people who wanted me to tell them how to get their partners to stop hitting them.
I talked to people who escaped abusive relationships but wanted to go back because "every child needs a father/mother."
I talked to people who would go so far, admit things were not good and then double back with, "But I love him/her!"
One thing I did not do was give up on them. They gave up on themselves. I pray they see the point where they've had enough and begin to rebuild themselves into the person who finds the strength to get themselves and their children out.
It is statistically likely you know someone in this situation. You may not have heard from them lately. You may think everything is fine. You don't have to do very much. Just check in with them. When you do that, you leave a door opened just a little so light can come in. You give them a nudge that there is life beyond where they are.
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