Watching Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
Release Date: May 16, 2002 (USA)
Written and directed by George Lucas
Cast: Hayden Christensen, Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Frank Oz, Samuel L. Jackson, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker
If The Phantom Menace was a demented, kawaii vision of the Star Wars universe, Attack of the Clones is what happens when someone combines the moody, atmospheric world of Philip K. Dick with bits nicked from The Wizard of Oz and The Princess Bride.
In Episode II, Anakin had a growth spurt and turned into Hayden Christensen. Instead of being a precious whiz-bang of a tech nerd, he's now a sullen teen who feels misunderstood and underappreciated by his Jedi mentors. Early in the movie, he confesses to Obi Wan Kenobi that he has obsessed over Padme Amidala (All The Livelong Day!) since he last saw her roughly ten years ago. This means when we assumed he was all about his droids and girls were yucky, he was actually striding to a Barry White track that was playing in his head while his little proto-Jedi self was walking all over Tatooine.
Senator Amidala is not immune to what passes for charm in this crazy, mixed up galaxy far, far away. We see her almost give in to lust more than once as she gazes meaningfully into his sullen teen countenance. She tries, oh, how she tries to maintain some semblance of decorum. She's just a slave to his petulance.
But I'm getting ahead of myself here.
The movie opens with various powers that be, mostly Samuel L. Jackson and Yoda, musing about the role Senator Amildala will play in keeping the peace. As the Senator and her retinue arrive, a pilot and his assistant hop down from their flying doohickey. They watch the senator in full formal Bjork mufti descend from another craft and the pilot muses how they were safe after all.
Of course there is a lethal attack before he can get the words out of his mouth. Shut up, pilot.
Amidala -the real Amidala- wrenches off her pilot's assistant helmet and runs to her decoy double, who apologizes for dying. The senator is given a "She's dead, Jim!" speech by her pilot when she tries to stay and they make a run for it. To the show-runners' credit, Portman is not wearing high heels and does not turn an ankle while they escape.
After some exposition and a little bit of wrangling, Anakin is sent to Naboo to keep an eye on Padme and Obi Wan Kenobi goes looking for the people behind the attack. The Padme/Ani romance is eye-roll inducing with the good senator getting all hot and bothered now that Anakin is a man. She does everything but bow her head and murmur, "As you wish" when he blusters about how he's gonna rule errbudy while they stand on sun-kissed Maxfield Parrish inspired sets.
Far more watchable is Obi Wan's turn as a P. K. Dick gumshoe. His sleuthing leads him to a hidden planet where a clone army is being built from the genetic blueprints of a Mandalorian bounty hunter named Jango Fett. And this is where Episode II gets good. We get to meet the OG Mandalorian bounty hunter: not Jango, but his spawn, Boba.
Here's the thing. I don't dislike kid actors. There are some very good ones out there. Unfortunately, Jake Lloyd wasn't one of them. Surely I wasn't the only person in the audience who kept expecting Liam Neeson to turn to Lloyd during Episode I and say, "Spritel? Take Chim Chim and go tell Pops we need a toolbox, three packets of crisps, and one of Trixie's hairpins!"
Tiny Vader might have been the fan insert for every little kid watching the Episode I toy commercial, but Daniel Logan's Lil' Boba is nobody's apple-cheeked sidekick. In fact, he'd be more at home chasing schoolyard shortie long pig with Scut Farkus than playing Matchbox Cars with the Speed Racer tot.
I'll have to admit that I was not immediately impressed by Lil' Boba. What won me over was the evil little snicker he gave after it looked like his dad had blown up Obi Wan Kenobi. Yes, the Dark Side was already strong in that one. For the rest of the movie, Lil' Boba was my Baby Yoda.
What followed was an hour of the following:
Stay tuned for Episode III.
May the Force be with you!
Jas
Release Date: May 16, 2002 (USA)
Written and directed by George Lucas
Cast: Hayden Christensen, Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Frank Oz, Samuel L. Jackson, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker
If The Phantom Menace was a demented, kawaii vision of the Star Wars universe, Attack of the Clones is what happens when someone combines the moody, atmospheric world of Philip K. Dick with bits nicked from The Wizard of Oz and The Princess Bride.
In Episode II, Anakin had a growth spurt and turned into Hayden Christensen. Instead of being a precious whiz-bang of a tech nerd, he's now a sullen teen who feels misunderstood and underappreciated by his Jedi mentors. Early in the movie, he confesses to Obi Wan Kenobi that he has obsessed over Padme Amidala (All The Livelong Day!) since he last saw her roughly ten years ago. This means when we assumed he was all about his droids and girls were yucky, he was actually striding to a Barry White track that was playing in his head while his little proto-Jedi self was walking all over Tatooine.
Senator Amidala is not immune to what passes for charm in this crazy, mixed up galaxy far, far away. We see her almost give in to lust more than once as she gazes meaningfully into his sullen teen countenance. She tries, oh, how she tries to maintain some semblance of decorum. She's just a slave to his petulance.
But I'm getting ahead of myself here.
The movie opens with various powers that be, mostly Samuel L. Jackson and Yoda, musing about the role Senator Amildala will play in keeping the peace. As the Senator and her retinue arrive, a pilot and his assistant hop down from their flying doohickey. They watch the senator in full formal Bjork mufti descend from another craft and the pilot muses how they were safe after all.
Of course there is a lethal attack before he can get the words out of his mouth. Shut up, pilot.
Amidala -the real Amidala- wrenches off her pilot's assistant helmet and runs to her decoy double, who apologizes for dying. The senator is given a "She's dead, Jim!" speech by her pilot when she tries to stay and they make a run for it. To the show-runners' credit, Portman is not wearing high heels and does not turn an ankle while they escape.
After some exposition and a little bit of wrangling, Anakin is sent to Naboo to keep an eye on Padme and Obi Wan Kenobi goes looking for the people behind the attack. The Padme/Ani romance is eye-roll inducing with the good senator getting all hot and bothered now that Anakin is a man. She does everything but bow her head and murmur, "As you wish" when he blusters about how he's gonna rule errbudy while they stand on sun-kissed Maxfield Parrish inspired sets.
Far more watchable is Obi Wan's turn as a P. K. Dick gumshoe. His sleuthing leads him to a hidden planet where a clone army is being built from the genetic blueprints of a Mandalorian bounty hunter named Jango Fett. And this is where Episode II gets good. We get to meet the OG Mandalorian bounty hunter: not Jango, but his spawn, Boba.
Here's the thing. I don't dislike kid actors. There are some very good ones out there. Unfortunately, Jake Lloyd wasn't one of them. Surely I wasn't the only person in the audience who kept expecting Liam Neeson to turn to Lloyd during Episode I and say, "Spritel? Take Chim Chim and go tell Pops we need a toolbox, three packets of crisps, and one of Trixie's hairpins!"
Tiny Vader might have been the fan insert for every little kid watching the Episode I toy commercial, but Daniel Logan's Lil' Boba is nobody's apple-cheeked sidekick. In fact, he'd be more at home chasing schoolyard shortie long pig with Scut Farkus than playing Matchbox Cars with the Speed Racer tot.
I'll have to admit that I was not immediately impressed by Lil' Boba. What won me over was the evil little snicker he gave after it looked like his dad had blown up Obi Wan Kenobi. Yes, the Dark Side was already strong in that one. For the rest of the movie, Lil' Boba was my Baby Yoda.
What followed was an hour of the following:
- gorgeous hardware
- some sad 'droid slapstick (THEY DESERVE BETTER, YOU FASCISTS!)
- Jar Jar Binks got all senatorial
- an epic fight with clones
- big honkin' bug eyed monsters
- the pageantry was replaced with the villains declaring it wasn't over
- Amidala and Sullen Teen Jedi got hitched.
Stay tuned for Episode III.
May the Force be with you!
Jas