I Almost Didn't Graduate
Again. Maybe I should add that qualifier. I almost missed out on marching again. This time it was for my bachelors degree in anthropology at Western Kentucky University. The first time it was for my high school diploma. My family moved to Mississippi between my junior and senior years and 12th grade so thoroughly blew big, fetid chunks, I had no desire to march and didn't. But that's a story for another time.
Someone on social media asked about pre-graduation anxiety dreams. Real life was stressful enough. Here's what happened days before I was supposed to graduate:
The credit auditor-being called one of my teachers and asked her to tell me I was missing a speech and theatre credit. Of all the areas to be missing a credit, this was not one of them. I transferred to WKU a semester shy of a theatre degree. Public Speaking HAD to be on my transcript somewhere! It was. Only it was called something else. I phoned the woman back from my teacher's office.
Me: Surely there is a speech class somewhere in my records. Look under the classes with COMM/THEA prefixes.
Creditsbeing: Lots of thee-yater classes here. (With implied Duh voice) They're not the same thing!
Me: (Remembering I took a communications class from a woman who was a speechwriter for Gerald Ford and really liked it and her.) Could it be called anything else? I think it was, but I'm blanking.
Creditscritter: There's one here with a funny word. This isn't a speech class! You can't graduate without a speech class.
(At this point, I'd published and presented in my discipline. I was going to be damned if...)
Me: A funny word... Would you spell it for me, please?
My Teacher: Stifling her laughter and wheezing.
CreditsGollum: R-H-E-T-O-R-I-C That's not a spee-
Me: Rhetoric is speech! IT. IS. A. DISCIPLINED EXAMINATION OF DISCOURSE. I've been to your office. You have a dictionary on the file cabinet across from your desk. Look. It. UP!
CreditsHo: Well, I-
ME: LOOK. IT. UP.
Instead, she set the phone down and I heard her step out of her office into the larger common area. I could tell from the tone of her voice she was complaining about me. Then everything got silent. I heard the tippytippytippy of her heels as she approached her desk and picked up the phone.
CreditsElf: Okay. You can graduate.
I heard the hilarity that ensued in the outer office as she hung up the phone. No graduation dream anxiety needed in my case.
May 18, 2023
Someone on social media asked about pre-graduation anxiety dreams. Real life was stressful enough. Here's what happened days before I was supposed to graduate:
The credit auditor-being called one of my teachers and asked her to tell me I was missing a speech and theatre credit. Of all the areas to be missing a credit, this was not one of them. I transferred to WKU a semester shy of a theatre degree. Public Speaking HAD to be on my transcript somewhere! It was. Only it was called something else. I phoned the woman back from my teacher's office.
Me: Surely there is a speech class somewhere in my records. Look under the classes with COMM/THEA prefixes.
Creditsbeing: Lots of thee-yater classes here. (With implied Duh voice) They're not the same thing!
Me: (Remembering I took a communications class from a woman who was a speechwriter for Gerald Ford and really liked it and her.) Could it be called anything else? I think it was, but I'm blanking.
Creditscritter: There's one here with a funny word. This isn't a speech class! You can't graduate without a speech class.
(At this point, I'd published and presented in my discipline. I was going to be damned if...)
Me: A funny word... Would you spell it for me, please?
My Teacher: Stifling her laughter and wheezing.
CreditsGollum: R-H-E-T-O-R-I-C That's not a spee-
Me: Rhetoric is speech! IT. IS. A. DISCIPLINED EXAMINATION OF DISCOURSE. I've been to your office. You have a dictionary on the file cabinet across from your desk. Look. It. UP!
CreditsHo: Well, I-
ME: LOOK. IT. UP.
Instead, she set the phone down and I heard her step out of her office into the larger common area. I could tell from the tone of her voice she was complaining about me. Then everything got silent. I heard the tippytippytippy of her heels as she approached her desk and picked up the phone.
CreditsElf: Okay. You can graduate.
I heard the hilarity that ensued in the outer office as she hung up the phone. No graduation dream anxiety needed in my case.
May 18, 2023