I might be misremembering, but it seems like it was a Memphis-based columnist named Rheta Grimsley-Johnson who once wrote something to the effect that people in the South are accommodating to a fault. The problem is that others will often mistake that for weakness or a lack of self-respect and take advantage of our regional character. What happens is people from other parts of the country (and more than a few locals to boot) will say or do things that they would not dream of saying or doing at home or to someone whose opinion actually mattered to them.
The result is that we, and the "we" I am referring to is Southern women have developed patterns of passive-aggressive behaviors and coded speech that are specific to our regional identity. Yes, people are taking advantage of our manners and mores to be boors. We strike back, sometimes even harder with what amounts to an iron fist in a white party glove, but only before Labor Day. A classic example of that is the use of the phrase, "Bless your heart." It doesn't mean what you might think it means.
This is something that came to light when I joked with some friends from another part of the world that we may have a reputation for keeping sweet, but deep down we are as mean as vipers.
Well, we were.
When did we get so quiet around people who have no regard for our sensibilities or the feelings of the people we care about? Maybe because the bullying came from people who look like most of us, claim similar roots, and identify as people of faith as well as being mothers.
That might explain why no one raises their voices when common bullies with nothing better to do with their time throw hissy fits about drag queens reading to children.
Does no one raise their voice when alleged "ladies" bully school shooting survivors?
Who are all you people who decided to spray paint over the "United Methodist" parts of your church signs because you want to let certain folks know they are not welcome? THAT IS NOT WHAT JESUS WOULD DO. (Seriously, I wonder if the Beatitudes in the original Aramaic included the phrase, "Be not a jackass to thy neighbor.") You can't possibly be actual Christians.
What about of those who proudly display Confederate battle flags? You do know those are hurtful to a large number of the people around you. One other thing and I can comfortably say this because I actually do have documented roots in the Antebellum South:
WE LOST! YES, YOU IDIOTS, WE LOST THE AMERICAN CIVIL WAR AND YOU NEED TO THANK THE GOOD LORD WHOSE MESSAGE YOU KEEP PROFANING THAT YOU LIVE IN A COUNTRY THAT TOOK YOUR SORRY, SCABIES MARKED, BARELY LITERATE, SCARILY INBRED ASSES BACK!
For those of you with a short attention span:
WE LOST!
Where was I?
There are people in my life who exhibit the refined sensibilities of modern day Ashley Wilkeses and who honestly believe all persons of my sex should keep sweet. As the kids -or people who desperately want to sound like kids- say these days, "Sorry, not sorry."
Got a problem with that? Bless your heart.
The result is that we, and the "we" I am referring to is Southern women have developed patterns of passive-aggressive behaviors and coded speech that are specific to our regional identity. Yes, people are taking advantage of our manners and mores to be boors. We strike back, sometimes even harder with what amounts to an iron fist in a white party glove, but only before Labor Day. A classic example of that is the use of the phrase, "Bless your heart." It doesn't mean what you might think it means.
This is something that came to light when I joked with some friends from another part of the world that we may have a reputation for keeping sweet, but deep down we are as mean as vipers.
Well, we were.
When did we get so quiet around people who have no regard for our sensibilities or the feelings of the people we care about? Maybe because the bullying came from people who look like most of us, claim similar roots, and identify as people of faith as well as being mothers.
That might explain why no one raises their voices when common bullies with nothing better to do with their time throw hissy fits about drag queens reading to children.
Does no one raise their voice when alleged "ladies" bully school shooting survivors?
Who are all you people who decided to spray paint over the "United Methodist" parts of your church signs because you want to let certain folks know they are not welcome? THAT IS NOT WHAT JESUS WOULD DO. (Seriously, I wonder if the Beatitudes in the original Aramaic included the phrase, "Be not a jackass to thy neighbor.") You can't possibly be actual Christians.
What about of those who proudly display Confederate battle flags? You do know those are hurtful to a large number of the people around you. One other thing and I can comfortably say this because I actually do have documented roots in the Antebellum South:
WE LOST! YES, YOU IDIOTS, WE LOST THE AMERICAN CIVIL WAR AND YOU NEED TO THANK THE GOOD LORD WHOSE MESSAGE YOU KEEP PROFANING THAT YOU LIVE IN A COUNTRY THAT TOOK YOUR SORRY, SCABIES MARKED, BARELY LITERATE, SCARILY INBRED ASSES BACK!
For those of you with a short attention span:
WE LOST!
Where was I?
There are people in my life who exhibit the refined sensibilities of modern day Ashley Wilkeses and who honestly believe all persons of my sex should keep sweet. As the kids -or people who desperately want to sound like kids- say these days, "Sorry, not sorry."
Got a problem with that? Bless your heart.
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